A quiz for every woman!

I stumbled on this quiz online and I though to share it. I can't stop laughing. The results are so hilarious. I bet you wanna check it out yourself.

Hey make sure you share your results with me. I will be waiting to read from all of u. What female stereotype are you? Take the quiz here

Should women take their husband's last names?

Quick one guys, a lot of female complain about having to lose their maiden names after marriage. Traditionally, a female must change to her husband's name after marriage but in modern times most female merge their maiden n married names. e.g Funke(birth name) Ojo(maiden name) Chukwu(Husband's name) - Funke Ojo Chukwu! Hahaha. I find married and maiden names bearer very stylish but hey is it a problem or should be overlooked

A married name is a family name or surname adopted by a person upon marriage. When a person (traditionally, the wife) assumes the family name of his or her spouse, that name replaces the person's birth name which in the case of the wife is usually referred to as the maiden name.

Some husband are flexible with how the wife chooses to blend the names while some just want them to forget about their maiden name completely.

How sad? Right? Errr why does the female have to change name her maiden name to her husband's family name. Modern wives tend to blend their names. Ah ha! Seems women are fighting to let parents know they are still a part of the family and not sold out to a new family or is it a case of not wanting to be lost in a world of new family name as an adult. Lol.


Whats your take. Blending names or Married names. Should women take their husband's last name? What works for you as the wife or husband?

Mood swings getting in your way?

Hey readers.... been a looooonnnnnng minute. Pls pardon me my darlings. Blame me NOT! Hehehe. Trust me to bring you some fun mind thrillers. How was your valentine. Hope y'all are truly loving and living. Wanna help y'all start your week right by giving you tips on how to manage your mood swings

No one is an island, no one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others. So here's the trick. Mood swings is the changes in a person's mood. Most people experience mood changes from time to time but research says women are more likely than men to experience irritability and mood swings.




The good news is, mood swings isn't that bad if u work on controlling it and consciously bringing your joy fluids back to work.


Mood swings can be caused by anything,

• from getting your lovely dress spilled
•  to arguing with someone who disagrees with your views
•  to missing a very important deal or appointment
•  to getting overworked
•  to having just a headache, depression ......the list is endless.

Here we go, getting rid of mood swings! Are you a regular moody person? You need to learn how to consciously keep a MOOD LOG. Take a deep breath and try RECOLLECT what got you into that moody state. Now put yourself in a mental state for it to reoccur and then CORRECT your mood from that mental state. Play it all out in your mind and FLUSH OUT whatever triggered it in the first. The more you are able to take the correction steps, the more you would choose positive choices anytime you get a mood swing. You can also completely blot out whatever put you in a moody state and invest all your energy and presence on something that brings you GOOD VIBES

E.g Your boss just made a nasty comment about you and you feel sad and discouraged. Just find a peace place in your mind and recall the good comments your boss has said to you in the past. Make peace with your boss in that mental state and move on to people that would give you the good vibes your senses need from there on.

Healthy people snap out of mood swings than others because their body is light and free. So learn to drink enough water daily, exercise your body and feed your soul. Stay healthy and avoid mood swings.

Your turn! How long does your mood swing last? What do you do to control your mood swing?

Should she worry about an engaged ex?

Hello Teniola, 
I have been following your blog for few months now. I saw your post about relationships on Facebook. I hope I get answers on your blog.

My boyfriend's ex recently moved to town and she is part of his group of friends from school. I have expressed jealousy and concern over her presence in his life. I have been dating him for 9months now. She is engaged but my worry isn't about her doing anything. My fear is that he is fooling himself and he has a special feelings for her that will keep us from being able to forge something new. I have never believed in being good friends with an ex and need to be more open-minded. Maybe it is because this is an especially close group of friends and I don't feel like I fit in.
Should I just work to get over my jealousy since he has assured me again and again that I have nothing to worry about? Or, since the jealousy really stems from my insecurities, is this something that will be impossible for me to get past until I take time to be by myself? Some people say that it is OK to be friends with an ex, others say it can't be done without there being some kind of intimate feelings there. Pls can you share my worries with your readers? I would like to hear your opinion and everyone else.

Thank you
Shy girl! 


Hello Shy chic,
      I would quote you in your own words. 'Should I just work to get over my jealousy since he has assured me again and again that I have nothing to worry about?'. You shouldn't be your own problem my dear. Go out with his friends and forget about his ex. You are in a relationship with him not with everyone else. Focus on him. You can also share your insecurities with him so he can help you through the social outing and worries. Goodluck!

Teniola. 


Guys pls give shy chic an advice. Should she worry about an engaged ex?

Love yourself!

I was at a friend's office last week for a creative meeting. Yes after work we got on the gurly chit chats about love and life. She told me how she manages to make herself happy. She's been married for 4 yrs. Kemi told me how she takes it upon herself to make her family happy. She also stressed how important it is to love oneself. This brings me to my first topic of the year.

Loving yourself is much more than style, material possession, career, a designer bag. It's more than the relationship you are in. Loving yourself is acceptance and contentment of who you are and will become. It's about your amazing traits and flaws all boxed into one without worry. Loving yourself is the beginning of living as that transcends to all other areas of your life.

Loving yourself might be a process.... Do not over love yourself at the expense of others. Loving yourself is a sense of self that's just confident. If you feel too fat this year, that should not be a problem at all. All you need do is love that excess till you lose it. Just love you.

No matter your status you must continue to feel good about yourself because if you cannot do it for yourself, someone somewhere will do the appraisal for you according to their own beliefs. They will tell you your worth and value

Always pay attention to your needs. Be aware of your nature and cravings. If you satisfy your needs you will be happy with your self. Do not create baseless needs. You might wanna differentiate the 
meaning of NEED and WANT. Hehehe don't want you getting worked up over your wants. They will come. Give time some time but it's your responsibility to satisfy your NEEDS.

Honour what you believe to be right and best for you even though it may be different from that of your mate (or others). It's ok! We are all different people 

Feed your soul daily. Free your mind of changing the world or buying the latest house in town. Do something recreational. Set your soul free from worry. Focus on what you have that makes you feel good. Enjoy the outdoors and appreciate life.

Sleep well, eat well, exercise, laugh and drink water. Say no without feeling bad. Say yes only if you want to. Live your life first before you consider others. 

This applies to love relationships as loving yourself will increase your capacity to love another. You can only give love from the abundance you have within you

Don't wait a second! Start loving you. You owe yourself that this yr! What self love have you been denying yourself? 

Happy holidays darling readers!

I'm guilty of being AWOL! Yes and I apologize for the silence. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year.

Christmas season is a time you get homesick, Christmas is all about family, hope, love and charitable causes. Christmas use to be about receiving gifts for me but now I would rather be a Santa and help make people smile. Christmas is that little gift that cost you nothing or so much just to make the other happy. Christmas is the laughter we share.

Oh! Christmas is when everyone is merry around you. The hugs, the visits, the warm messages of love.

Christmas is a season of love and that's because God gave us his only begotten son as a sign of his unconditional love for us.

Christmas is forever, not for just one day, for loving, sharing, giving. The good you do for others is good you do for yourself...Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind.  To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in love, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.  

I hope and pray the holidays brings millions of reason to smile.

Stay well and safe!

What's Christmas to you?

My tribute to NELSON MANDELA

Today there's nothing else to write about but the passing of NELSON MANDELA.
.....i write this tribute because I never met this great man, oh that really hurts. I will console myself with his inspiring quotes. Oh well, Obama also met him for the first time in May 2005 so dear Teni it's ok. Don't feel too bad.

For the first time I can't find words to express myself. I do feel a huge loss as I also never met Madiba. I grew up with his quotes, works and extraordinary leadership. He lived well and left a legacy. I am inspired by his life which was all about not living in fear but facing his challenges headstrong and conquering it.

I know 27 yrs in prison must have broken him to the true legend he was. If I met him I would have asked him how he managed to miss almost three decades of his life, how he was able to forgive and still catch up with Life.

Madiba, your message of peace, truth, freedom and hope lives on with me and the entire world even in the hearts of generation unborn. Sleep on Madiba. The world will miss you greatly. Rest in the bosom of your lord. 

Thank you 'Tata'. Such greatness! I salute you. 

My top Nelson Mandela quote will be 'it always seem impossible until it's done'. What's yours?


NELSON MANDELA's biography......Read here

Stress 'test' him to know if he loves you

So here I am today....... Wondering what topic is next! *sigh*.............. I have a thought in my head.... It's kinda unprocessed. Ok let me try to bring it together. How to 'Stress test' your man.... Errr I mean stress him to find out if he loves you, that sounds better.

I know some girls are just naturally laid back with guys. Same way some won't give you that hard to get routine during the chase. Here's how to Stress test your man to know if he loves you.

Pick up a fight and just be silly! - This helps you realize what type of guy you are dealing with; if he doesn't calm you down and act like a mature person. You will have loads of baseless fights in the future. If he can handle your silly moods. Keep him!

Get him angry - This is his temperament check. You don't wanna get married to a guy you hardly know. I know there are lots of ladies who are quiet in nature and wouldn't hurt a fly let alone get a man angry. Yes it's ok to know his temperament by getting him VERY angry. Get to know the worse he can do when angry. 

Let him go an extra mile for you - This will show his indulgence meter. Your man must indulge you. If he can't come out of his way for you. He doesn't really care. A man that truly loves you will care for you all the way. Get him to do something you know is inconvenient for him

Let him wait for you during a date - Know how his mood affects interaction or fun. I'm not talking about a 5mins delay. I'm saying you deliberately delay him and get him angry before a date or some planned out fun. See how he switches through his usual mood after you apologize for the delay. If he sulks all through the date..... Oh we'll..that's not good.

Be at your worse - See how much of a hero he can be. Yes let him come save you. Give him some challenges that test his strength. Find out how much of a man he is. 

Possess something he cherishes so much - Men love sport...You might wanna mess with him with sport but remember its a test, do it only once and at the early stage. Change the channel and force him to watch something else. Yes at the early stage they are well behaved..that's enough time to test.If he does not fight for it he loves you. Lol

I’m not saying you should run into the room and slap your man upside the head. I am saying you shouldn’t act like someone completely different than who you are naturally in order to get a man to fall in love with you. 

If he passes your Stress test... You got a good man! Pls reward him with a stress free relationship

When a man loves a woman, he doesn’t run as soon as the relationship is tested. He looks at it as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship. This is the man you should have in your life instead of settling for someone willing to remain simply because you never stress him out. After all, that might be the only reason he’s keeping you around.

Ladies have you ever tried the 'Stress test'? Guys what's you take?

2013 Resolution Check! You check! I check!

It's that time of the year to look back from the first month of the year .... It's ok to ask yourself honest questions about what happened to your new yr resolution list.

Some people make a bucket list at the beginning of the year while others just make a list of resolutions. I'm gonna be a lil bit in your face and ask you how you fared through the year.

 I will start with me. I didn't do a lot of stuff. I made more mistakes. I procastinated again. I didn't give up on some habits and I didn't accomplish all I set out to do this yr but I also did a lot that am glad I did. Some events played out in my favor, I have learnt what not to do next yr.

That's bout all we need at the end of the year. Don't kill yourself and don't blame anyone. I am reviewing mine... Career, life, love and yes I will rate my progress.

Career 40% - I need to learn to finish my projects. I will fight procastination and just do it like Nike in 2014
Life - 70% - I'm learning to stress a little and not take life too seriously. I will live inside out more in 2014
Love - 90% - This is the ultimate manual of life and I will embrace it with all my being and also give out more of my love to the world in 2014


Your turn! What have you got left to accomplish before the year rolls out?

If you could wish for a super ability?

If you could have any super power, what would it be?  Hehehe I would drive all the coupes ever made. A peek into my fantasy.
What super power would you wish for?  

What are your biggest PET PEEVES?

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it. Be it in a relationship or with friends or even family members.

NO relationship is perfect. No matter how much you love each other and no matter how many things you have in common and agree on, there is always going to be something that one person will do to bother or annoy the other. This has nothing to do with love, but more based on the fact that when two individuals merge their lives together, there are bound to be times when they will clash. You may feel like “one”, but you are still separate people with minds of your own and not everything about your partner will appeal to you, regardless how much you love each other.

True acceptance means that we don’t make comments or jokes about our differences. We put the complaint on the shelf.

However, if you know that you need to speak up, it’s essential that you articulate your pet peeves by following these communication rules. It’s hard to be open and receptive when we feel attacked.

Rule #1 – It’s crucial that you talk about yourself rather than finger-pointing. Talk about how you feel, why, what you’d like.

Rule #2 is that you must stay specific so that the other person can understand exactly what is so difficult for you and only address about one topic at a time.

Rule #3 is to focus on constructive win-win solutions, acknowledging what does work well.

Rule #4 is to listen well so you can truly understand the other person’s perspective.

Make your talk a discussion, not an ultimatum, and compromise to find the best solution that best honors you both.

Don't be too hard on your partner. What are the biggest pet peeves about your partner?

Make up after fighting!

Every relationship is different, but most couples have fights once in a while. Partners that stay together for the long haul usually figure out a way to make up and move on. If you don't want to pretend the fight never happened and just wait for the tension to blow over, then learn how to make up in an open and healthy way.

Look beneath the argument.There's a saying: "You're never fighting for the reason you think. It may look like you're fighting but there's usually some feeling underneath that hasn't been fully expressed, maybe even something you hadn't realised you were feeling. Calm down and make up with your partner. 

In life, everyone needs to make an apology, you need to make people think you mean it, you should mean it anyway. It often happens that you have mixed feelings, that the subject is not a simple situation, not black and white, but the apology is needed to smooth things out, and you are willing to apologize in order to do that.

*Know what you did wrong. Whether it was on purpose or an accident, admit that you did it. People like honesty.

*Keep it simple, being careful not to start up a fight, a disagreement, or open up the situation for further discussion. Stick to the idea of re-establishing a good relationship. This is not the time to work out and dissect events.

*Be prepared for it to take some time for your apology to be processed. This may be a long moment, a few minutes, or even days or weeks. Be patient and hopeful. Sometimes apologies have to be repeated. Don't let pride keep you from calling or writing again. The injured party may have trouble calming down, they may remain hurt or angry, and you must persist within reason. It is important to follow up messages light and casual. One must understand when to stop the effort as well.

*It helps to say, "This is a genuine apology, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I have thought about how wrong I was in that matter, and I hope you will accept my apology.

*Be polite. An apology will be better accepted if it is sincere.

*Try not to smile. Smiling generally expresses happiness but you should be serious. If you want to smile, try to have an apologetic smile.

*Don't do it again! An apology is saying sorry. Sorry means not doing it again. It's supposed to be genuine. 

Share your crazy fights too!

Age Difference! Big deal or not?

Dating an older or younger guy can be a challenge. A lot of the time it's the remarks from those who disapprove (or don't understand) that make it so difficult. Like any relationship, if it's sincere and you're both committed to making an effort, it can work cos I believe there's nothing new under the sun. I also try to have a flexible mindset for life issues

One of the first things that you must remember when you're dealing with big age differences in a relationship is age is just a number. It doesn't define you. You could be 21 and be as mature as a 30 year old and you could be a 50 year old and have the brain of a 25. Yes, It all depends on your personality and the personality of your partner. That doesn't mean that big age differences in a relationship is easy to handle, but just keep in mind that the age is just a number. 

A strong connection is what keeps relationships going. With an age difference, you should make sure the connection is there early on and that both people feel it. A physical connection isn't just enough. Make sure you both can understand where the other is in life. Some girls love dating older guys because they feel that guys their own age aren't mature enough while some girls just love the younger guys. If your common ground is firm? shoot!


Ultimately, it's you who calls the shots on whom you date. Don't think that you need to convince everyone of your love. While support from your loved ones is important, don't dwell on every single remark you hear about the relationship. Some people have nothing better to do than criticize. People connect with people of all sorts of ages for a variety of reasons. Don't think that you're supposed to be with someone your age. If you know the relationship is right (and legal), then stick with it.



So, have you? Or do know anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a wide age gap? younger or older?  Age difference in relationships, big deal or not? Share your views.

Adult peer pressure!

Today's topic is one that cracks me up. Why give in when you can STAND OUT! I personally call it social vulnerability. it's called 'peer pressure' when you're younger and 'keeping up with the Joneses' when you are older.

Peer pressure doesn't just end during our teenage yrs because adult life isn’t much different. It's not even your peers doing it to you anymore, it could be your family, colleagues, church or even the media ......oh well, let's just say society. Society! That's everyone doing it to you.

Realize that we all have different dreams and different ideas of what fulfill us. Unfortunately, sometimes we confuse what we want with what we think we want because it has been socially driven through the media, peers and other pressures. It's important to remind yourself of this regularly and ask yourself why you want something that someone else has before assuming it's a good thing for you to want too.

The most important thing is that you are true to yourself, and not to do what others think you should. Some people just follow the crowd out of fear of being different. Others do what they feel like regardless of what others do or say. It is important to always be true to yourself and your beliefs. Not all people will agree with everything you do, but as long as your choices agree with your views and personal situation. Do what is best for you.

Reflect on your personal goals and achievements. Sometimes when you become overly focused on what someone else is doing, you forget about how far you’ve come in your own right or you take for granted the achievements you’ve made.

Do what you want, not what THEY want. It's your life. 
Find your IDENTITY and live it


What are the pressures you are dealing with in your life right now? Are you handling it or giving in?

Married or single lifestyle?

Hi my darling readers! It's good to be back. Bloggers have a life actually especially when one is blogging out of passion*winks*. I know I must bring back some goodies for y'all to enjoy. 

Married or single life which is better?  

Mike says, married life is peaceful Teni. You have someone to worry for you. It gets boring sometimes if you don't know how to spice the relationship up. She gives me all the love that's melts my sorrow and stress. The cons are easy for me because I have identified them over the years. Vacations, family events, praying and planning is more meaningful when you are married


Femi says, Teni I love my single life. I choose what to do with my money, my vacations and my life. I can eat cereal for dinner if I like. I can go to bed when i like. I don't have to answer to anyone and i don't have to report where i am or when I'll be back.

Nike says, its lonely for the woman Teni. There's no one who knows what you do with your day, what your thoughts are, what your worries are. There's also no one to take care of you when you're sick, or to help you financially when you're out of work. There's no one to share decisions with. Also, if you date, at some point dating becomes like a job interview and it's just miserable, and there are fewer desirable people to date as you get older. 

Michelle says, I have to take vacations when my husband can take them, and we have to confer together on where we will go. I also have to let him know where I'll be and when to expect me back. It's a little weird, too, to know that someone else can see when I'm being lazy. In my case, he has dogs and I have to help him care for the dogs too along side our kids when he goes out of town, although that's not too bad. Teni I love my married life regardless of the lil stress I face here and there.

So I got few peeps to share their views.  Married life or single life! Your turn! ......and REMEMBER to take the poll below. Just click on single or married lifestyle

LCAR poll! married or single life?

Single or married lifestyle

The little child in us!

Often times just like the majority of people in the world, we mistakenly believe that children know nothing about life until they learn from observing the adults around them, but we don’t realize just how many things children can teach us about life. Although they might not be educated on what the world has to offer, they know how to approach life in ways we don’t. 
*They live for the moment
*They believe in miracles
*They are daring
*They speak out
*They are accepting
*They do what makes them happy
*They explore their interests

Ah ha! How much of these habits can an adult have? Are kids living better than adults? Can adults really think and live like kids? 

Beautiful idiot vs Ugly genius

A friend asked me this question and I decided to post it on here. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To some, having an amazing brain is beauty. While some guys and girls may place physical qualities above brain power. 
What's your take?

Answer these questions!

So let's have fun with our thoughts today. I will be asking series of questions.  Let's go

1) What would make you super proud if you accomplished this yr

2) What do you wish you did sooner 

3) What is one thing you are never too young or too old to enjoy?

4) What is the best compliments some can give you?

5) How many true friends do you have that you can count on?

My answer

1) Owning a Maserati coupe 2013

2) Meet two warriors

3) Fashion

4) Teni you rock

5) One

Your turn! .

The Happiness Trick!

Today, as I was walking back to the park after having Amala and ewedu(a Nigerian dish) from a local restaurant. A little kid waved at me as I strolled pass his mom's shop.  I laughed and waved back.  There was instantly a look of surprise and then extreme happiness on the kid’s face just because I waved back to him.  This reminded me of how, as children, we need very little to make us happy.

As adults we somehow grow into the belief that we need everything to be a certain way in order to find and appreciate moments of happiness.  But the truth is, to be happy we need much less than we think we need.  In fact, I believe one of the best feelings comes when you realize that you can be perfectly OK and happy without the things you once thought you needed.  And that’s precisely what today's chat is about – and you need to TRUST me on this.

The Happiness Trick

*Ideal circumstances - Choosing to be positive and grateful for what you have now is going to determine how you’re going to live the rest of your life.  So remember to look for something positive about each day

*Everyone's approval - The biggest prison you will likely ever live in is your fear of what other people think.

*A perfect past - In fact, we often grow stronger in the places we were once broken.  Because it’s not until you’re broken for a while that you truly learn what you’re made of on the inside.  And this insight gives you the ability to rebuild yourself, stronger than ever before. 

*A conscious stress-free life - Great challenges make life interesting; overcoming them makes life meaningful.  Don’t wait until everything is just right; it will never be perfect.  There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.  So what!  Get started now!  With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more skilled, more confident, and more successful.

*Series of events affecting you - Right now you are creating history – your legacy.  Don’t let life slip by without being aware of it.  Life works in a strange way:  You want something and you work and wait and work and wait, and feel like it’s taking forever to come.  Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is relive all the great memories you made along the way.

Happiness is the journey.  Open your eyes.  Don’t miss it

*Money - We all love money! We all want loads of it! 

Happiness formula = Do your best and appreciate what you have.

Unhappiness formula = Compare yourself to others and the things they have.

It’s nice to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s also important to make sure you haven’t lost track of the things that money can’t buy.  You don’t need a lot of money to lead a rich life.  Good friends and a loving family are worth their weight in gold.  It really is the little things that mean the most… like a long hug at just the right time. 

What would you add to the list?  What do we sometimes forget we do NOT need to be happy?