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Sunday 24 November 2013

Make up after fighting!

Every relationship is different, but most couples have fights once in a while. Partners that stay together for the long haul usually figure out a way to make up and move on. If you don't want to pretend the fight never happened and just wait for the tension to blow over, then learn how to make up in an open and healthy way.

Look beneath the argument.There's a saying: "You're never fighting for the reason you think. It may look like you're fighting but there's usually some feeling underneath that hasn't been fully expressed, maybe even something you hadn't realised you were feeling. Calm down and make up with your partner. 

In life, everyone needs to make an apology, you need to make people think you mean it, you should mean it anyway. It often happens that you have mixed feelings, that the subject is not a simple situation, not black and white, but the apology is needed to smooth things out, and you are willing to apologize in order to do that.

*Know what you did wrong. Whether it was on purpose or an accident, admit that you did it. People like honesty.

*Keep it simple, being careful not to start up a fight, a disagreement, or open up the situation for further discussion. Stick to the idea of re-establishing a good relationship. This is not the time to work out and dissect events.

*Be prepared for it to take some time for your apology to be processed. This may be a long moment, a few minutes, or even days or weeks. Be patient and hopeful. Sometimes apologies have to be repeated. Don't let pride keep you from calling or writing again. The injured party may have trouble calming down, they may remain hurt or angry, and you must persist within reason. It is important to follow up messages light and casual. One must understand when to stop the effort as well.

*It helps to say, "This is a genuine apology, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I have thought about how wrong I was in that matter, and I hope you will accept my apology.

*Be polite. An apology will be better accepted if it is sincere.

*Try not to smile. Smiling generally expresses happiness but you should be serious. If you want to smile, try to have an apologetic smile.

*Don't do it again! An apology is saying sorry. Sorry means not doing it again. It's supposed to be genuine. 

Share your crazy fights too!

5 comments:

  1. I will say every misunderstanding should be treated just as exactly that....a misunderstanding, i.e not a deliberate attempt by one party to inflict a pain on the other, but an issue arising from a mismatch in the full understanding of each party's intentions...this should at least be true if there's love somewhere in there. And so, the approach should not be one is guilty and the other is innocent....apologies, repentance, attitudinal changes, forgiveness and "forgetness" must be mutual and should happen on both sides.

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  2. Making up is easy for the one that cherishes the relationship than their ego

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  3. Make up is a lot harder for me than fighting. So I stay simple and open

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  4. I love fights! My husband is a great in bed when saying sorry. I fight when I want a make up sex. It's out of this world feeling.

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    1. Funmi ain't you just a case study? Hehehe

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